留学如何拯救了我

For almost two years, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the airport lobby in Canada, 我在等待飞往伦敦的转机航班, that I finally gathered up enough courage to text him that it was over, 我已经离开了. I pressed send, turned off my phone, and hopped on a plane that took me 3,000 miles away from him. 这是我做过的最好的事.

在那次经历后重新学习自己, 在这段关系之后, 每天都在战斗, but I cannot thank study abroad enough for healing me. I know many people say that you shouldn’t run away from your problems, 但是有了这个问题, 我不得不离开. I was beaten down into a young woman who didn’t believe she deserved anything. I was conditioned to think that my dreams and my aspirations were stupid and unrealistic, all by someone who was supposed to take on the role of supporting and encouraging me. My view of myself was distorted and the view that I had on the world was crumbled into a billion little pieces that I never thought I could put together on my own. When I told this significant other that traveling abroad and studying in another country was a dream of mine, I was mocked and put down for ever wanting something that would make me better, let alone something that would take me that far from his grip.

Little did he know, was this was something that I dreamed of ever since I was in high school. I grew up in a small suburb right outside of Cleveland, 俄亥俄州, and as I realize that this is not really as “small town” as others may describe, 它对我来说不够大. My high school graduating class was about 113 people, and I practically knew the middle name and lineage of every single one of them. 我有更远大的梦想, 这些从未消失, but only took a back seat as I embarked on college and as I fell into this black hole of a boyfriend. I had already given up so much of myself and let myself be manipulated in so many ways that when I look back on it now I feel ashamed, 但那正是他想让我感受到的. The fact that I can look back on these experiences and see this scared and alone little girl makes me feel so proud of myself that I got away from that, that I followed my dream and left a nightmare behind.

伦敦治愈了我. 事情就是这么简单. 在大多数像这样的虚构故事中, I would have walked off the plane and felt immediate relief from all of my burdens as I realized that I was living out my wildest dreams. No. 但事实并非如此. 我已经24小时没睡觉了, 我一个人也不认识, and I was racking up my family’s cell phone bill as I repeatedly texted my mom that I made a huge mistake. 适应独处, 我是说真正的孤独, 在一个新的国家生活并不容易, but I can honestly say that CEA’s program provided me with all the tools I needed in order to make 英格兰 feel like my home away from home.

我看到了我从未想过会看到的世界. I made long-lasting friendships and connections with those who not only were in the program with me, but who ran the program and genuinely cared for my well-being. It was in 伦敦 where I fell in love with my career and where I gained the confidence to go after a job I loved, 无论如何. It was 伦敦 that allowed me to find myself again.

如果你想宝博体育, and if there is something or someone holding you back, I urge you to swallow those fears and go forward in seeing as much of this world as you possibly can. 我向你保证, you will come out on the other side a truer version of yourself than you ever thought possible, ,很快, all those fears and voices in your head telling you not to go, 看起来很傻. 朝着你的梦想前进. 离开那个小镇. 抓住这个机会. Let the world heal you and show you all that you can be.



Caitlyn also created a video for each month she spent in 伦敦. 请看下面: 

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Caitlyn Ward is a CEA Spring 2018 校友大使 in 伦敦, 英格兰. 她目前是德保罗大学的学生.